Maybe it’s just me but I feel like closure, specifically in relationships, is for suckas! Yeah, I said it! Every time I turn around I hear some chick talking about how she didn’t get the closure she felt she was owed from some dude who should be a non-issue in her life. That relationship could have ended a week ago or 10 years ago and she’s STILL looking for closure! Let it go honey!
The search for closure in life is a time-waster because you are basically allowing the action (or inaction) of someone else to dictate when, why and how you move on with your life. It robs you of the ability to fully move on and carry less baggage into your next relationship.
Here’s a few reasons why I think closure is for suckas…
He could probably care less about how you feel
You want your apology for the pain and hurt he caused you in the past? Ok, that’s great but he might not give a crap about that! He has moved on with a new chick and probably doing her wrong right now! (just kidding, let’s hope not) Very rarely does a relationship end and your ex comes knocking at your door with a bouquet of your favorite flowers ready right all the wrongs he made because he came to some sort of epiphany that you are “the one who got away.” Yeah, that sounds nice, but how often has that happened….let’s be honest ladies. If he was going to act right he would have acted right while he still had you.
He’ll tell you what you want to hear
Ok, let’s say he DOES apologize. He thought long and hard about what he did and is truly sorry. What then? Do you take him back because he’s a changed man? Hell no! He’s the EX for a reason! 9 times out of 10 you’ve had to repeat the issues you had with him over and over anyway which obviously resulted in you kicking him to the curb. Maybe he’s lonely and really does miss you. Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, he knows exactly what to say to get “The Cookie.” You read the Steve Harvey book Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man. You know what The Cookie is! I’m just sayin’ ladies. Think about it.
He doesn’t feel he should apologize
Here’s a good one. You are lookijng for an apology and he doesn’t feel he owes you one. Talk about being stopped in your tracks! You dreamt about the day he would tell you sorry for his crap and on that very day he gives you the big F-U! How are you going to feel if you don’t get the reaction you were looking for? Be prepared for that.
Sorry, no neat little bow
Life is not made up of circumstances that get wrapped up in a neat little bow. Things happen that leave you hanging…period. You deal with it and move on. Stop putting yourself in a position where you are dwelling on the past because it is not helping your future.
Ok, so by now you probably think i’m sounding a little bitter and cynical. I promise you i’m not! 🙂 I’ve just been there before ladies so I can honest relate! However IMO, if someone has wronged you, you don’t spend your life wondering why they wronged you. Pack it up, and keep it movin! I’m not saying you shouldn’t learn from it and i’m not saying it won’t hurt like hell bu you aren’t responsible for anybody’s actions but your own. Relationships end, it’s called dating. You start one, it ends, you start another one. How you handle them when they end is all up to you. My suggestion is to handle yourself with grace and dignity, mourn the loss, learn the lesson and move on.
So at the end of the day all you need to worry about is doing YOU and living your best life.
Take care of yourself…xoxo